Friday, November 20, 2009

Day 12

I went to the Prez's hockey (pronounced haah-ckey) game last night... you know that place that has both alcohol and heat in the same location. Well it was a late-game - starting at 11pm - so we all met up before the game for a drink. The waitress came over and asked what she could get me. I asked her if she had wine that came from a bottle, not a box, that was nice to drink. She said she had both red and white wine from a bottle. I asked what kind of reds she had. Someone in the crowd said 'this is a haah-ckey rink bar!'. She [nervously] said that it was a Chilean red and offered to show me the bottle. I declined the offer and said I would just take a glass. It wasn't bad... a bit of tin on the nose, a bit of mud on the palate, but red nonetheless. I should have pulled what I pulled last week... taste-tested both the white and red on offer til I had managed to get a glass down before deciding!

I don't think it is too much to ask to have a decent glass of red wine while watching a hockey game. Is it just me?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Day 10

Last night a two year old projectile vomited all over me. That's an experience I've never had before.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Day 8

I figure 430am is as good a time to start your day as any.

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear T-Lo!
Happy birthday to you!


How to attend a Hamilton Tiger Cats football game:

1. Leave all identification at home.
2. Paint face entirely.
3. Get cheap seats in the end zone for easy access to field during half time.
4. Get as drunk as a lord.
5. At half time, get two friends to create a diversion while running on the field.
6. As friends get tackled by security and police, run to goal post.
7. Climb goal post amidst screaming, cheering crowd.
8. Hang off flag. Slide down pole.
9. Stagger, on bar, to other side of goal post.
10. Drop willingly into open arms of policemen waiting below.

See, that's how things roll in the Hammer. The Prez showed the youtube video clip to my nephews, saying "Do you want to see Uncle Big E's friends at the football game? Do you remember this? We were sitting over there!" [points to area of stands completely unrelated to end zone]

Of course, that little fracas has nothing on the SnakeBite All-Star Cincinnati experience... but that is a story to be told another time.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Day 5

I figure 3h00 am is as good a time as any to start the day.

I've been doing the usual job hunt graft again and... guess what?! I got a response! I have a telephone interview on 18 November. Yay! After what feels like 3, 147, 536 CVs submitted, I got a response! Yay!

It's 9h50 am. Time for my mid-day nap.

Day 4

I figure 230am is as good a time as any to start the day.

The usual where-the-hell-am-I followed by sadness about CT followed by job hunt routine ensued. It's getting debilitating, this job hunt graft, but I must press on.

Anyway, my now-daily routine occurred. Job hunt online, job hunt in person, drive around with sis-in-law, go to Walmart (spits), come back to the Prez's place.

I watched the Prez play hockey last night. Upon arrival at the rink the Prez told me there was a heated bar upstairs. Both heat and alcohol in one location? It seemed too good to be true. So I sprinted up to the bar, settled in with a 4 oz glass (shot?) of wine (again, Big Brother Canada legally limits the amount of wine per glass) and watched the game. I realized that I had been back four days and, during that time, had seen three hockey games.

The pee wee game was pretty cute... four year olds rolling around the ice with the occasional skating thrown in the middle for fun. My cousin's game was hectic - 80 000 screaming people watching a blur of men on the ice. The puck was invisible to me. The only time I knew when someone scored was when the big announcement screen produced the word: "Goal!". Those pucks must move at over 100kms per hour, I swear. The nice thing about the Prez's game was that, next to my cousin's game, everything was in slow motion. I could see the puck move! I could see the moves the players were going to make! I could see the goalie miss the puck and the goal being scored! Even the buzzer seemed to sound in slow motion. Niiiice!

Day 3

I figure 330am is a good a time as any to start the day.

Wide awake at 330, I started my job hunt. The usual morning routine of kids/breakfast/school eventually happened around me. Then my sis-in-law was kind enough to drive me around as I needed to pick up some basics.

She took me to Walmart (spits).

Now, anyone who knows me reasonably well knows that I have a few issues with, amongst other monolithic multinational US-based conglomerates, Walmart (spits). I have problems with, inter alia, the corporation's foreign product sourcing, their treatment of product suppliers, their environmental practices (and their 'Green Initiative' does nothing to sway me), their use of public subsidies (IE underpaying staff to the point where they can apply for HMO health subsidies due to falling below the official poverty line in the US), their publicity stunts disguised as charitable donations (the economic damage caused by Walmart's (spits) business practices far outweighs any check they write to improve a small town boy scout camp), their discriminatory labour policies (google walmart + class action + lawsuit to see) and their security policies. Walmart (spits) represents everything I hate about US individualistic capitalist society specifically and North American consumerist culture generally. Watch this to see where I'm coming from on this one (CT peeps - you can find it at DVD Nouveau).

So there I am, sitting in the parking lot of Walmart (spits) and debating. Do I throw a fit? I have before. I've walked off the parking lot so as not to remain on Walmart (spits) property. I have raged in cars about their labour practices. I have raged at dinner parties about their environmental practices. I have raged over coffee about their health care policies. I have refused to use products that were purchased there. I have got out of cars as they entered Walmart (spits) property and stood on the sidewalk.

Now what?

I weighed my options. Do I pull a typical T-Lo b*tch move and lecture this poor woman about my own position on the matter? Or do I shut up, go in, buy some stuff and use it? In the end, I made a deal with myself: as long as I am living under the good graces of other people, particularly my family, I will go along with their lifestyle choices where necessary. When I get myself back on my feet, I can go back to my own way. I went in to Walmart (spits). I bought four items. I left. Upon entering the premises, neither myself nor Walmart(spits) burst into flames. I was a bit dissappointed.

Day 2

I am spread eagle, face down, sweating, and blind. I have no idea where I am. It is pitch black. My arms and legs seem to be immobile. Frantically, I reach for a light. I find one. After a few stunned moments of apoplectic eyeball blinking, I realize that I am in my brother's house, I had a huge duvet over me (hence immobility), I am fully clothed (hence sweating), it is 230am Toronto time (and 930am CT time), and I am wide awake.

Time to start the day! My day went like this:

230 - 430 am: Job hunt.
430 - 530 am: Have mental wobble about all that is CT... friends, sushi on the beach, the smell of forest in the Cederberg, nights out with fighter girls, Zaida-Baida hugging my head with her claws, sleeping with George the ginger cat at the DWs, Bucephalus ... the list goes on
530 - 6 am: mid morning nap
6 - 7 am: drink coffee with coffee cream (yum!), continue job hunt, realize extent of deafness in right ear (Odd. Must be dealt with.)
7-8 am: Watch the morning routine of getting kids up / dressed / ready for school. Reconfirm with self that motherhood isn't my thing.
8-11 am: Continue job hunt.
11 am - 12 pm: Figure it is time for a sundowner glass of wine. Have one.
12 - 2 pm: Nap.
2 - 3 pm: Wake up. Have no clue where I am. Repeat routine from morning. Really miss all that is in CT, particularly the smell of forest in the Cederberg. Think it is funny how some senses instantly evoke certain memories.
3 - 430 pm: Get ready to go see cousin play hockey (Go Wild!).
430 - 11 pm: Get to Toronto, sit with approximately 80 000 other people to watch game. Realize extent of Big Brother state of Canada when Big E tells me that it is illegal to purchase more than two alcoholic beverages at one time while in the stadium. (Capetonians would mutiny.) Watch game. Miss CT.
11pm: Sleep.

Day 1

I left Cape Town on a cold rainy day (she was crying tears of sadness that Sanderson was leaving her) which was probably a blessing in disguise. Had it been sunny it would have been easier for me to see the exit doors and try to run out of them and back to Camps Bay beach, screaming and hands flailing all the way. I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried some more when I left. In fact, I cried all the way to Dubai. Impressive, considering it's a seven hour flight.

It was strange when I arrived at Cape Town airport. My Canadian fighter friend, Miss K, took me to the airport. We parked. A trolley appeared in front of us. We went to the lifts. The doors opened as we arrived. We entered international departures and had to take the lift up to check-in. The doors to the lift opened as we arrived once again. We exited the lift to find the Dubai check in desk right in front of us. My check in took approximately 45 seconds. I figure, all in, it took about 5 minutes.

The Dubai - Toronto leg was a hellish 14.5 hours. I watched cartoons (Ice Age, Incredibles etc) for the first half and then listened to Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac repeatedly for approximately three hours before landing. Toronto was nice to me on landing - it was a balmy 15 degrees. Nice! And my dad was even nicer - he brought a nice bottle of Graham Beck for me to drink in the car. I guzzled half that puppy in about 15 kms on the highway. I went from the airport to my 4 yr old nephew's hockey game, froze my *ss off in the rink, went to the Prez's place (where I am now staying), had dinner, then passed out fully clothed on the bed.